In pizza we crust

May we take a second to please thank, well actually… we don’t know who to thank. The Italians, the Greeks, the Roman Jews? One of these spectacular beings invented pizza. If you roamed the streets in 840 B.C you could probably smell flat breads smothered with dates and cheese. There lies the birth of our oblong dough of happiness and we are bowing down to thank the crusty skies for that.

We’re not saying our pizza is the holy grail, however it will evoke some 'ooh’'s and 'aah’s' and that’s pretty much the same thing.

"Problems come and go. Pizza is forever."

The toppings list is endless so take it from us who constantly consumes food (and therefore has skin in the game) these concoctions are divine. Don’t mind if we name our own pizzas (We’re not original. We’re just bored sometimes)

Okay, before we get into this whole controversy surrounding toppings, this Covid-19 lockdown has taught us one thing. Rules must be followed, but only between 08:00 and 09:00. Thereafter its free for all and creativity hath no bounds.

So when we had leftover Sloppy Joe mix, we couldn’t fathom NOT spreading it like love all over a damn pizza. We did it. We don’t care. Don’t come at us.

The essence of pizza really is in the dough. Everything else is garnish sprinkled. If you don’t get the dough right, your plan has failed and you are a failure - #sorrynotsorry

Now, we won’t take all the credit for this, but come on, we are kneading this like Nana Dirkie used to in the old country. Nevertheless, this recipe is from Gozney - thanks guys.

Dough Recipe

1kg strong white bread flour / 00 flour (we use Farina 00 Flour Granoro)

1 tbsp fine sea salt

14g active dried yeast

1 tbsp mascavado sugar

4 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

650ml lukewarm water (we usually only use 500-520ml of the said 650ml water, but your environment makes a difference so gauge how wet/dry your dough is)

This is verbatim.

- Add two tablespoons of olive oil to your mixer (ideally with a dough hook). Sieve the flour and salt into the mixer too. In a jug, add your lukewarm water and mix your sugar, when the sugar has dissolved sprinkle the yeast over, and leave it to rest for five to ten minutes, the mix should become frothy.

- Turn the mixer on and start adding the liquid yeast mix to the flour, the dough hook should ideally knead the dough for six to seven minutes on a slow to medius setting.

- Coat a large bowl with a splash of olive oil and add the dough ball to it. Cover it with cling film for about an hour (or longer) until the dough has risen and doubled in size. Now remove the dough from the oiled bowl and knead it around to push the air out with your hands.

* Nnead, play, stretch and roll out these bad boys like your life depends on it, before you take them to the incinerator.

Your dough is now ready, simply roll out on a flour dusted clean surface and voila! Okay, that last part is not verbatim.

Unless you are making pizza for 45 people, you will have dough to spare. Roll them into balls and freeze them. Perfect for lockdown dinner day 25768. Our bad boys are cooked at 450 degrees for 90 seconds and we use The Roccbox. This is the holy grail of pizza ovens. It's also the holy grail of all ovens. Period.

Now, about those toppings. Let's start with uncle Joe. Here’s the recipe. We originally served it with crisp ciabatta buns from Woolworths. Leftovers was served on a pizza (no tomato / white base) as it's already saucy and rich.

1. Sloppy Uncle Joe

We added goat's cheese afterwards which adds sweetness and a creamy texture to the decadent Joe.

2. The Spanish Floosie

Tomato base, Spanish salami and chorizo, black Spanish olives, provolone sprinkled with basil to garnish.

3. Something Fishy

Black Spanish olives, anchovies, fior de latte - you can spice it up with chilli oil / fresh chilli.

4. Birboncello

Italian salami (its not so full of paprika and its more fatty), goat's cheese, chilli.

Simple. Delicious. Grazie Mille.

5. I have a pen.I have pineapple. Ah. Pineapple pen

Haters gonna hate. Tomato base, PINEAPPLE, ham, mozzarella, chilli.

Pineapple is fried in butter. Damn girl!

6. Hogs & Kisses

Nduja (You'll thank us later. Nduja is a soft, spreadable fermented pork salumi, spiked with fiery Calabrian chillies), and the trio of cheese - fior di latte, goat's cheese and mozzarella).

And to end these beauties off? Well you sip it down with your favourite Champagne or MCC of course.

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